


The Purple Stripe

by Lady_Iwaizumi



Series: Bokuaka Oneshots! [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Bets, Boyfriends, Cheek Kisses, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Making Up, Oneshot, Reveal, Self-Esteem Issues, akaashi worries for the first time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-01 11:15:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13293672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Iwaizumi/pseuds/Lady_Iwaizumi
Summary: When Akaashi voices his uncomfortably with kissing, his boyfriend understands.Only, he really doesn't.He doesn't know the half of it.





	The Purple Stripe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sly_Helador](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sly_Helador/gifts).



> For Sly_Helador, who has been loyally following this series since the beginning!

It wasn’t that Akaashi didn’t _enjoy_ kissing his boyfriend.

 

Bokuto was incredible. He was excitable, charming, simple, and very very affectionate at times. Keiji loved him more than words could say, and he loved being close to the transportable battery-charger who was the ace of the Fukurodani volleyball team—but right now, as Kōtarō was moving his lips against Akaashi’s, pressing him against the sheets of the third-year’s bed, Keiji couldn’t help his sudden feelings of uneasiness. It wasn’t because he was growing a boner or anything…that wasn’t what felt awkward, it was just…

 _Kissing_. And _touching_. Weird.

In fact, Keiji couldn’t really remember a time when he actually enjoyed being intimately touched by his boyfriend. He didn’t like neck kisses. He didn’t feel good when Bokuto bit at his lip. It was all just kind of…blah. This time was no different.

His body was ready to start writhing uncomfortably underneath Bokuto as he pressed harder into the kiss, sealing himself to Keiji’s soft lips as the setter laid there, motionless, not responding to his touches. Akaashi had always thought his reaction to physical intimacy was different than others, but he always found himself distracted by how much fun he had with Kōtarō that his brain never gave him enough time to seriously consider the fact that he just might be…

 

“B—Bokuto-san,” Akaashi mumbled through the kiss, tightening his grip on the wing spiker’s shoulders. “Um…”

Kōtarō finally broke their lips apart, hovering over Keiji with a flushed face; the vice captain wouldn’t deny that his boyfriend looked attractive, but the thought didn’t warm any place other than his heart.

“Too much?” Bokuto asked breathlessly, golden eyes full of understanding.

“I…y…yeah. Too…too much.”

“Sorry! I just get so excited when I’m kissing Akaashee!”

The spikey-haired teen buried his face into Keiji’s neck, nuzzling him affectionately; Akaashi didn’t mind that, per say, but Bokuto was still lying on top of him, their crotches dangerously close together, and the sensation was making Keiji increasingly squirmy. He was starting to feel trapped in the situation, which caused his anxiety to heighten over the fact that his boyfriend didn’t take the subtle hint; while he knew Kōtarō would never assault him in any way, his body was screaming warning signs at him, telling him this wasn’t right, everything was becoming too itchy, too numb.

He needed to escape.

“Akaashi?” Bokuto asked.

“Please…please get off me, Bokuto-san.”

The ace did so wordlessly, sitting-up to wearily glance at his boyfriend’s odd expression of discomfort.

“Sorry if I’m too heavy…”

“No, you’re not too heavy…” Akaashi said slowly, staring at the ceiling. _What’s wrong with me?_ “It’s fine.”

“…Okay…um—are you feeling alright?”

 

_Maybe I’m just broken._

“Keiji?”

 _Maybe…maybe I AM sick,_ Akaashi thought, quickly losing sight of reality _. Do I need to be fixed? Is there something that can help me? Well…I mean, Bokuto is attractive, I really love him, and his body is beautiful, but…that doesn’t mean I want to touch him or anything. But I touch him all the time, don’t I? I hold his hand, I fix his hair, I give him high-fives…_

“…Akaashi, you’re starting to scare me!”

_He’s sexy. He has abs to die for, his biceps are toned, his body is athletic and fit—_

 

_And I don’t care._

 

“Akaashee!”

 

Keiji snapped back to reality, seeing Bokuto staring down at him worriedly, golden eyes huge with concern; his rough palm was on Akaashi’s cheek, cupping it softly as he tried to get his boyfriend to come back to him.

“Seriously, are you sick? Are you dying?!”

“N…no.” The setter replied, shaking his head and sitting-up. “I’m fine.”

“Okay, but you’re not, really…”

Kōtarō moved so that he was in the center of Akaashi’s vision; that didn’t help the current situation, given how riled-up Bokuto still looked from their make-out session.

“What’s going on?” He asked lowly. “Did it feel like I was pressuring you? I’m sorry if it did!”

Keiji shook his head frantically, which only made his boyfriend even more confused. He sat there for a minute, silent, trying to come-up with any other explanation for Akaashi’s behavior; they had kissed before, so it couldn’t be shock…they had laid together on his bed before, so it couldn’t be awkwardness…

But if it wasn’t either of those, what was wrong?

Bokuto rubbed the cheek of his setter softly, hoping the act would help Akaashi out with whatever battle he was fighting; to encourage him further, he planted a long, lingering kiss onto his pale lips. While all of this was happening, Keiji was finally coming to terms with himself, with all the information he had been gathering over the past few years, with all the strange incidents during team camps, with all the nakedness after practice matches that never got a reaction out of his body…

 

After all the speculation, Akaashi finally admitted it.

 

 _I’m…I’m asexual_.

 

“Akaashi?!”

Keiji bolted off the bed and hurriedly packed his homework, straightening-up his school uniform and tugging his shoes on aggressively; Bokuto was trying to stop him, to get him to explain, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t even look at his boyfriend, much less drop the bombshell that he didn’t like making-out or groping or touching when Kōtarō obviously enjoyed it very much. How could he make such a rash decision? Surely blurting that out would make the situation that much more uncomfortable for _both_ of them, not just him…

And Akaashi didn’t want his first real relationship to be over so soon—especially not since he was in _love_ with his boyfriend.

 

“I’ll see you later,” Keiji said shakily, ripping the door open. “Bye, Bokuto-san.”

“Akaashi, wait!”

 

The dark-haired boy didn’t wait, and ran all the way home in tears.

~~~-~~~

That night, Akaashi didn’t eat. He couldn’t focus on anything, much less, his well being; his mind hadn’t left poor Bokuto, how freaked-out he would probably be when his boyfriend told him he didn’t like sexual things. What kind of teenage boy didn’t like sex? That was crazy! What kind of teenage boy wouldn’t want to make-out and grind against the boy he’s been in love with since day one?

Keiji sighed for the hundredth time and rolled over onto his back, covering his eyes as the stress began to get too much for his mind to handle.

 _I have to tell him, of course…but how can I do that?_ Akaashi asked, taking a deep breath to regain the upper hand against his senses. _I’m not good with words when it comes to this…and if I don’t know how to explain it to myself, how can I explain it to the person I love? Maybe it’ll be easier that way. Maybe since we have such a great connection and understanding of each other, Bokuto-san will be able to fill in the blanks._

_Then again, this is Bokuto we’re talking about._

 

Fresh out of ideas, Keiji grabbed his cell phone, opened the search bar, and typed a simple question:

_How to tell a significant other about your asexuality_

 

 _That’s about as lame as it gets_ , Akaashi sighed internally, waiting as thousands of websites popped-up. The first few were stories about married couples being ripped apart because of an asexual discovery—that didn’t help the current predicament at all, so Keiji kept scrolling and scrolling, looking for key words that would capture his interest.

His finger stopped when he caught sight of a flag—the official asexual flag.

Akaashi paused to investigate, biting his lip nervously as he scanned over the simplicity of the symbol; the flag was made of vertical stripes, beginning with black, then grey, followed by white, and finished by the only bright color, purple.

 

Purple. So that was the color that now represented Akaashi Keiji.

 

The setter set his phone down quietly, staring at the flag intently as his mind slowed down for a minute; it was comforting to know that he wasn’t alone, but…it still didn’t help the fact that he was going to have to face Bokuto’s dejected expression when he found out his boyfriend no longer wanted to participate in his spontaneous bouts of affection. He did like to do simple acts of love like hand-holding and cuddling, too, but…Keiji was too afraid of his response to imagine how the wing spiker would react to something like this.

 _I don’t want to lose him. I can’t lose Bokuto-san. That’s not an option, here_ , Akaashi thought, locking his eyes onto the purple stripe. _My best chance would be to come right out with it, but I don’t think I’m that brave, at least not when it comes to Bokuto, because…I really love him. As much as he annoys me, I love him._

Keiji felt tears spring to his eyes.

_I just hope he loves me as much as I think he does._

 

Making his decision, Keiji held his finger against the image, saving it into his pictures; he opened his text conversation with Bokuto and inserted the flag, thumbs hovering around the keyboard with uncertainty.

 

Akaashi clicked send, turned the phone off, and curled-up on his bed.

~~-~~~

The following day, the vice-captain did his best to avoid Kōtarō.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ to see him—he was just increasingly agitated about the entire situation and didn’t want it to become worse by awkwardly running into Bokuto, who probably didn’t understand what the flag stood for. Akaashi kicked himself for being such a coward, and wondered if his boyfriend would even want to talk to him after what happened yesterday.

He was standing at his locker during lunch period when Bokuto confronted him.

“Hey, Akaashi!” The golden-eyed boy greeted lightly, popping-up behind Keiji’s locker door.

The setter had to blink a few times before replying quietly.

“Hello, Bokuto-san.”

The pair stood there silently as Akaashi organized his locker, taking out what books he needed for the remainder of the day; Bokuto didn’t seem agitated at all, but it was clear that he was thinking deeply (for once). He seemed distracted, but didn’t hesitate to look his boyfriend in the eyes when he closed his locker.

“Hey, Akaashi—wanna go talk somewhere?”

_There it is._

 

Keiji nodded, too afraid to speak, and wordlessly followed Bokuto as he led them outside.

 

 _When was the last time I felt nervous?_ Akaashi wondered. _I haven’t felt this frustrated in years. I’m not the type of person who gets worked-up a lot—I get excited, yeah, but not worked-up. I certainly don’t get as dejected as Bokuto-san…_

Kōtarō stopped them when they found a vacant spot on the side of the school, where they could talk without being heard; Keiji prayed that his boyfriend would start the conversation, because he had absolutely no idea where to begin. The ace thought for a few minutes, casually leaning against the wall before peering up, catching Akaashi staring at him timidly. His grip on his messenger bag was tight, and the second-year wasn’t sure his heart had ever pounded so hard before.

“So…” Bokuto started awkwardly. “About that picture you sent.”

Keiji nodded nervously.

“Yes?”

“How—how long have you known that you…that you…”

“W-Well…I’ve always kinda…had my suspicions.” Akaashi answered softly. “But I didn’t know for sure until yesterday, after school.”

“When we were…”

“Yes.”

Bokuto gave a startling wail that made his boyfriend nearly jump out of his uniform.

“Ahhhh, I’m so sorry, Akaashee!” He yelled, covering his face in shame. “I’m so _stupid_!!! How could I not notice something was up?!”

“You…You’re not stupid, Bokuto-san.” Keiji said, daring to reach out and touch the ace’s arm in comfort. “It’s not your fault, so please don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it?! Akaashi, you’re my boyfriend and I didn’t even notice how you never kissed me back!!!”

“Well, you must have noticed at some point, considering you’re talking about it now…”

 

Bokuto wailed again and refused to uncover his face, mumbling to himself as the setter stood there awkwardly, not knowing where this conversation was headed. Once Kōtarō calmed down enough to speak, he released a deep breath and faced Akaashi again, expression neutral.

 

“So……so that flag,” He said slowly. “The one with the purple stripe; that’s…that’s the sign for asexual, right?”

Hearing his boyfriend say the word out-loud felt like a bombshell to Keiji. All he could do was nod and look at his shoes.

“And…I mean, I looked it up and everything, but…what exactly…what does that mean? You just don’t… _do stuff_ , or something?”

“W-Well, I—the people…t-they just don’t, um…”

Akaashi’s mouth became dry, his tongue a jumbling mess as he tried to explain what it felt like to do something you really weren’t comfortable doing. He didn’t know why it was so difficult, didn’t understand why he couldn’t speak, still not understanding why he _felt this way_ …

A warm object engulfed his right hand—Keiji stopped murmuring, glancing up to find Bokuto sliding his hand over his boyfriend’s sweetly, giving it a squeeze. At this sudden reminder, Akaashi was able to speak.

 

“Asexual means that I, nor my body, is interested in sexual activity.” The vice-captain explained. “I’ve just never really felt the need to…do those type of things, nor have I been longing to experiment with them. Kissing, touching… _other_ things like that…they don’t affect me.”

“Oh…”

“I—I do like some things,” Keiji added. “It’s just anything more than casual affection is distasteful to me. Cheek and forehead kisses, those are fine…hand-holding and cuddling, even, those are all enjoyable to me.”

“You mean like this?”

Bokuto planted a big wet kiss onto Akaashi’s cheek.

“Yes,” The setter nodded blissfully. “Yes, that was…nice.”

 

Kōtarō was awfully quiet following his boyfriend’s explanation, eyes staring at the ground as he thought deeply; too anxious for the answer, Akaashi spoke again.

 

“Are…are we over, Bokuto-san?” Keiji asked fearfully.

The third-year’s head shot up.

“WHAT?!” He shouted. “Do you _want_ to be?!”

“Do _you_?”

“No, of course not!!!”

Bokuto stepped towards Akaashi and buried him in a tight hug, practically lifting him off the ground.

“I love you, Akaashee, I don’t care what kind of sexual you are!”

“That—that’s…”

The ace plopped his boyfriend back onto the ground, his eyes full of so many emotions Keiji could barely contain his tears.

He really did love him after all, huh?

“Don’t cry, Akaashee! Didn’t you hear me?! I said it didn’t matter! I still love you, and I’m sorry!”

“I-I know,” Akaashi sniffled with a smile. “I’m just…I was a little concerned, that’s all…”

Bokuto pulled him close again, and this time around, Keiji didn’t hesitate to hug back. He should have known things would turn out okay.

 

This was Bokuto they were talking about, after all.

 

When the wing spiker pulled back again, he went to give Akaashi a kiss, stopping himself last-minute and touching his lips on the side of Keiji’s temple; the second-year laughed breathlessly and rewarded Kōtarō with a quick peck to the lips, leaving his expression amusingly confused.

“But…but I thought…”

“I also don’t mind lip kisses, Bokuto-san. Just…just be careful how long they are, though. I might get uncomfortable if they’re…yeah.” He said awkwardly as his boyfriend beamed.

“You can count on me, Akaashee!”

“Please don’t use my name as a rhyme.”

 

Bokuto’s laugh was the only noise Keiji needed to hear in order to let all the tension drain from his body. He allowed the childish owl to slide his fingers into his hand and pull him along, back to the lunch room where they belonged.

“I love you, Bokuto-san.” Keiji whispered, laying his forehead on the strong shoulder keeping him upright. Boy did he mean it.

“Love you too, Akaashi.” Bokuto grinned. “I’d love you even if you were pro-sexual!”

The spiker began ranting about how careful he was going to be, how much better at communicating they were going to be from now on, etc. etc….Akaashi couldn’t help but think that the third-year was right for once. Although he had been a coward up to this point about his sexuality…this reveal would probably help them better understand each other, even more than they already did. Keiji wouldn’t have to suffer through any more awkward make-out sessions. He wouldn’t have to worry about Bokuto judging him, or worse, _dumping_ him. Kōtarō really cared about him. He _loved_ him. He would never leave him out to dry like that, leaving him all alone to defend for himself.

 

And Akaashi probably should have known that all along.

 

The happy couple were too wrapped-up in each other to notice a shocked Komi handing Konoha 500 yen behind a nearby bush.

**Author's Note:**

> Tried my best to describe what it's like to be asexual, but since I can't firmly say that I myself am asexual, I'm sure it might be a little off, but I tried to portray it as faithfully as possible! I was actually going to take today off to watch Haikyuu with my bro, but then he left again, so I ended-up writing this!


End file.
